Caught Between Trust and Worry
The prophet Isaiah said, “Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor is his ear to dull to hear.” (Isaiah 59:1) Though I know in my heart this is true, I still sometimes go back and forth between doubt and worry as if God’s arms are short, and his ears are dull. My friend Erica does too.
She came to my door with a package to deliver and a story to share. I signed for the package, and we began to catch up. Her kids are grown. Mine were teens. Her daughter just got married. My oldest had just went off to college. Mama to mama we shared and cared.
“My daughter and her new husband might be moving to Chicago. I have to be honest, Gwen,” she said seriously, “I’m not doing well trusting God with this. I’m struggling with anxiousness and worry.” I listened and nodded with understanding, knowing full well the strain of worry and anxiety.
Then she perked up and shared a story that went something like this…
God impressed a message on my heart this morning that challenged and convicted me! I just have to tell you about it. I ride motorcycles. Have for years. I love the feeling of being out in the open air. It’s exciting and invigorating. When I ride, I feel vulnerable and alert. It’s risky and requires balance, it’s much more difficult than driving my car, but I ride because it energizes me and makes me feel alive.
This morning I rode my bike to work while it was still dark. I don’t usually do that because the headlight is small, so the light is dim. As I was riding, I began to thank God for allowing me to ride my bike to work. I thanked him for allowing me to feel alive and energized along the way. And as I did, He spoke to my heart. I sensed He was saying, “Erica! This is what I want my relationship with you to be like: exciting, risky, and energizing, like riding your motorcycle! But instead, you take your car with me. You want to feel safe. You want to see with brighter headlights. You grasp for more control, by worrying and fretting about things you can do nothing about. In doing so, you miss out on a faith that is alive and energizing… a faith that trusts me and takes risks.”
She shared that story with tears and conviction in her eyes. We were both moved and challenged. It left me with a fresh longing for deeper faith.
I want to ride.
I want to take risks with the star-breathing, mountain moving, speak-through-a-burning-bush, unpredictable, and unsearchable Almighty God!
God doesn’t call us to a safe faith.
He doesn’t promise we’ll have a clear view of all that lies ahead.
God never promised us simplicity.
Instead, He invites us to embrace a vibrant faith that trusts Him. A faith that’s alive and energized, in spite of the unsteady unknowns. His arms are not too short to save, and His ears are not dull to hear. The Lord is powerful, capable, compassionate, merciful, holy, just, and faithful.
These truths should hush our noisy doubts and calm the anxieties that seek to unnerve us.
God is sovereign and His ways are mysterious.
And in the center of all of my questions this one resounds: who better to trust than God?
Myself? Hardly.
My paycheck? My medical chart? My emotions? I might as well chase the wind.
In contemplating this, I journey back to what the Bible has to say on such things.
“Live by faith, not by sight” (2 Corinthians 5:7).
“When I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. I praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?” (Psalm 56:3-4)
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6).
What or who is the Lord inviting you to trust Him with today?
Decide to ride.
Dear Lord, Would You please quiet my anxious heart? Give me courage to step out in faith, beyond what I can see or attempt to control. I bring You these burdens now: ______________.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
~ Gwen Smith is an author, speaker, co-founder of Girlfriends in God and host of the Graceologie podcast.