A Counterintuitive Cure
“It’s time to get your shoes on.” I know.
“It’s your turn.” I know.
“It’s dinner time.” I know.
Exchanges like these have been common in my home over the years. The reminder from the parent comes because the action required of the child is not happening. Rather than the preferred response of “Okay, Dad” or “Sorry, Mom” in conjunction with the appropriate change in what the child is doing, the response is, “I know.” While true, in the sense that the child typically does know the given instruction, this response misses the point entirely. The intent of the parent’s prompt is not to inform but to prod: to compel the child to align actions with knowledge. If you know it’s time to put your shoes on, you should be putting them on.
One of the frustratingly beautiful things about being a parent is how the things we must address in our children, which cause us to roll our eyes and shake our fists, serve as mirrors revealing our own tendencies. What comes with age is not always wisdom but greater sophistication in the ways we mask our foolishness. We, too, are often guilty of not doing what we know we’re supposed to be doing, we just know better than to justify our behavior with an “I know.” Whatever tactic we use to excuse our informed inaction, James categorizes as self-deception. “Be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” (James 1:22) What’s easy to see in our children is harder to see in the mirror. We convince ourselves that there are good reasons for what the mirror shows. We deceive ourselves.
A brief saying of Jesus cuts to the heart of this issue, providing both a piercing diagnosis and a counterintuitive cure. In John 14:15, Jesus says, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” No one can honestly look into the mirror of this verse and not recall a time of shamefully disappointing disobedience that, according to Jesus’ logic, stems from a lack of love for him. That’s the piercing diagnosis.
There is a deadly tendency in fallen humanity to take from this a call to “do better.” For the longest time in my own life, I viewed this verse as a threat where my application of it was to strive for obedience to prove my love. But that is exactly backward. And that is where the counterintuitive cure comes into play.
The parental expectations of children mentioned above reflect perfect if/then pairings. “If you know it’s dinner time, then you should be coming to the table.” But isn’t Jesus’ if/then pairing in this verse somewhat odd? We don’t naturally pair obedience with love, but Jesus does. In saying this, Jesus is getting to the root of the issue. Jesus shows that what comes out of us is the fruit of what is in us. What we do is inseparably linked to what we love.
If there is no fruit in our lives, striving to “do better” would be the equivalent of stapling apples to a thorn bush and convincing ourselves that we have an apple tree. The counterintuitive cure Jesus offers to our obedience problem is a call to be transformed by a greater love. The answer is not to “do better” but to cultivate love for Christ, out of which obedience will naturally flow. Disobedience is the symptom. Love for Jesus is the cure.
It is not enough to simply know Jesus’ commandments. We must obey. But obedience is not the goal. Obedience is the natural outcome of a heart that loves Jesus. So, this must be our aim. Ironically, one of the greatest motivators of obedience-producing love is knowing the grace that forgives our disobedience. Knowing that the finished work of Christ purifies us frees us to strive for the obedience Jesus commands because we have fellowship with God.
Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure.
1 John 3:2–3
~ Andy Barker grew up in Boston, Ma. and relocated to Charlotte in 2008. He and his wife Melanie have five children and have attended LIFE Fellowship for over ten years.